||[28 Feb 2004|01:49am]
-i am worthless
-i am a fuck up
- as much as i love my life i equally hate it
-i dont know why some things dont make me happy like they used to
-i want to understand why everything happens
-girls are stupid
-im happy you got ur life back together and picked up all those pieces; i hope this works out for you shes a bitch
-there are times when i remember why i did certain things;this is one of them
-i wish there was a reason for me to stay here and not go to florida the year after next [if im accepted]
-i want to experience love
-i want to give love
-i want to hug someone for hours
-i want a real kiss ; it's been such a long time
-kissing feels so good
-one day i want to be able to tell everyone the truth about everything
-i believe in love at first site to a degree
-i believe i've already met the man i'll marry
-i'm nervous to see my test grades
-you can learn alot about someone in one conversation
-most boys are just perverts
-i have a cute voice
-fefe dobson is the shit
||[28 Feb 2004|12:04am]
just letting u all know that in like 2 days this journal is deleted
...there will be no new journal
i'm going out with a bang... nobody will understand any of this except me
-fuck your high school bullshit i'm better than that
-NO BOY will ever treat me that way again
-not taking anymore bullshit from anyone
-you think you can break me? think about it again, i'm stronger than you'll ever be
-your insecurites brought you to this
-if only i was 10 years older or you were 10 years younger it would be perfect but reguardless, you are my angel. i am forever grateful to you and i love you so much for all of you're help
-the authority is not to be fucked with, i may not agree with alot of aspects of our justice system...but that was before i was in the shoes i'm in now
-i wish more girls had the guts that i've been told i have
-GIRLS SPEAK OUT, TAKE ACTION, DO NOT BE EMBARRASED, YOU'RE NOT ALONE
-maybe i don't want to be a criminologist...
-megan you are seriously the best friend i've always wanted and never had until now[with the exception of jason] i wish we were able to hang out more we'd have so much fun. thank you for being there for me 100% especially when there was nobody else out ther i could trust. i'd put my life on the line for you, you're a true friend and those are so hard to come by.
-i love my life
-i am proud of myself
-i may not have done much in my life but my accomplishments are huge
-i set big goals for myself and i WILL reach them, even if you don't believe in me
-i do not need a man to make me happy
-i do not need to drink or smoke to make me happy ; it's just fun once in a while
-no girl is a slut if she wants to have sex with people she is not in a relationship with. and nobody should have to apologize for getting something they want
-if guys can do it why can't girls
-i totally admire christina aguilera and i dont get why so many people need to disrespect her. she is my idol.
-i will never compromise myself to satisfy you, you won't be there for me if the going gets tough
-i'm smarter than you realize
-there really is no such thing as i cant
-i regret not taking high school seriously b/c now i'm stuck in remedial math
-i have problems and am not ashamed to admit it
-i have a few amazing friends
-i have many bad influences in my life...more bad then good
-i can't change my past
-i've made mistakes, but i'm not sorry. if i didn't make the mistakes i made i would not be who i am right now
-this is the real deal
-i wish i could decide waht i wanted to remember and forget
-i wish i knew why i am how i am
-i wish i could do something for my parents that would be really nice and make up for what a jerk i've been to them all these years
-im getting a new sn
-i tink thats it for now
||[27 Feb 2004|01:05am]
BlckStarsInMySky: oh how i love to shop
burningxxdesire: omg me2
BlckStarsInMySky: it's not just a hobby....it's a lifestyle
||[26 Feb 2004|11:45pm]
thank you... now all we can do is wait
|i won't write again...
||[23 Feb 2004|09:34pm]
man i hate the starting line... but for some reason on my way home from school i popped in the cd and totally rocked out. haha i'm a loser
so my big criminology test is wed. i'm feeling pretty good about it actually. hopefully i'll pull off an a but i'd be satisfied with a b because i didn't study as much as i should have.
i love and hate my juvenile delinquency class. love b/c i learn alot and hate because i go home every monday after class nearly in tears. it's one of those classes that wakes u the hell up and makes u look around at the world. adn todays semi focus was dyfs ...shit man. people are so cruel and worthless... i was assigned to work with this kid rich in my class on term paper. we are both focusing on the juvenile aid bureau specifically the prosecution of minors compared with adults. me and him gotta go up to monmouth and middlesex and interview the prosecutor i'm looking foward to it. i am going to learn alot from doing this term paper
||[22 Feb 2004|12:13am]
[ spell your first name backwards ] ynaffit
[ the user name reason] don't remember
[ birthday ] aug 13
[ sex ] fEmale
[ preference ] whatever
[ status ] taken <3
[ where do you live? ] sayreville
[ 4 words that describe you ] happy, weird, boring, nice
[ eye color ] usually green
[ hair color ] brown and black
[ zodiac sign ] leo
[ heritage ] ukrainian and italian
[ current location ] the viiille
[ current clothes ] white socks, jeans, my "kiss me i don't smoke" shirt, black zip up over it
[ current hair ] medium
[ current nail color ] pink w/ gold shimmer
[ current annoyance ] being bored & cottonmouth
[ current smell ] cocoa cabana
[ current thing i ought to be doing ] zzZzZZzz
[ current desktop picture ] fishies
[ current book you’re reading ] none
[ current cd in cd player ] chingy
[ current refreshment ] water
[ current worry ] not a damn thing
.: either - or :.
[ righty or lefty ] righty
[ innie or outtie ] innie
[ thong or bikini ] bikini
[ boxers or briefs] boxers
[ pepsi or coke ] pepsi
[ mcdonald’s or burger king ] bk
[ adidas or nike ] reebok
[ lipton ice tea or nestea ] nestea
[ cappuccino or coffee ] cappuccino
.: what is :.
[ first feature you notice on girls ] boys // body
[ your best physical feature ] eyes so i'm told
[ your bedtime ] whenever
[ your greatest accomplishment ] my gpa and not dropping out of college
[ your most missed memory ] back then
[ your favorite article of clothing ] my express zip up
[ your most important goal in life ] to accomplish my goals
.: favorite :.
[ food ] lobster
[ drink ] pepsi
[ color ] pink
[ shoes ] my s.carters
[ animal ] dogs
[ movie ] requiem for a dream & trainspotting
[ vegetable ] carrots
[ fruit ] grapefruit
[ cartoon ] aaaaah real monsters and fairly odd parents
.: are you :.
[ understanding ] ususally
[ open-minded ] yes
[ arrogant ] yes
[ insecure ] yes a little
[ interesting ] i think i'm quite the character
[ random ] most definatly
[ friendly ] sometimes not to strangers
[ smart ] a little
[ moody ]yesss
[ childish ] yeah at times
[ independent ] a little
[ hard working ] yes
[ organized ] i've been trying
[ healthy ] not really
[ emotionally stable ]i dono
[ shy ] yea
[ difficult ] yea
[ attractive ] yea
[ bored easily ] yea
[ thirsty ] yea
[ responsible ] yea
[ obsessed ] no
[ angry ] all the time
[ sad ] no
[ happy ] eh
[ hyper ] no
[ trusting ] yea
[ talkative ] depends
.: who do you want to :.
[ kill] noone
[ get real wasted with ] yea
[ get high with ] yae
[ look like ] me myself and i
[ talk to offline ] u
[ talk to online ] u
.: The opposite sex :.
[ favorite physical feature ] body
[ favorite eye color ] green
[ best hair color ] dark
[ short or long hair ] short
[ best height ] taller than me
[ best weight ] thin but toned
[ best article of clothing on them ] express for men jeans
[ best first date location ] anywhere creative
[ best kiss location ] who cares?
[ crush ] . . . . . .
[ in love ] not me
[ how many times ] idk
[ do they give you the chills ] nope
[ been heartbroken ] surely
[someone’s done for you ] huh
[ your dream of a romantic thing for someone to do for you ] anything u could picture in a movie
[ marriage ] one day
[ kids ] one day
[ for true love or something else ] true love
[ big or small wedding ] big or small idk
.: have you ever :.
[ kissed in the rain ] id ont think i did
[ thought about someone so much you annoyed yourself ] yea
[ watched the stars with someone ] sorta
[ cried because you were so happy ] yea
[ been in love, but it wasn’t returned ] i guess more liek in like
[ kept something that smelled so you could smell it when you missed that person ] probably
[ made out ] yea
[ eaten an entire box of oreos ]yea
[ binge ate a pint of ben and jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream ] yea
[ eaten sushi ] no
[ been on stage ] yea
[ gone skating ] no
[ made homemade cookies ] yea
[ been in love ] probably not
[ gone skinny dipping ] yea
[ dyed your hair ] yea
[ stolen anything ] yea
[ been caught "doing something" ] ooo yea haha
[ gotten beaten up ] no
||[21 Feb 2004|01:01pm]
yesterday was chock full o stuff
i woke up early; 10:30. for those of you who don't know i can't sleep at night so i sleep all morning. but i can't do that b/c mon-thurs i have morning classes. therefor i don't sleep. friday is my only free day so i usually sleep allllll day long. but eh whatcha gonna do. i cleaned my room and got all squeaky clean... even blow dried my hair [ohhh shit].
then i went and got my eyebrows done finally and went over to tommys house. then [with noooo break lights] went to the flea market and i got my decal. hot shit right there. eventually you will see pictures. but it's a white strip on my windshield with a sparkly light pink tribal thing with a heart in the middle. eventually im having a mtching heart blown up for my back windshield [no tribal]. and i want the trail of hearts for the sides of my car... yeaa pimpin.
also the flea market had the led underbody kit that i wanted. i need dineroooooo!!!!!!
ok then i came home and cracked a twisted tea [which pissed my mom off] haha it was funny. then workage! bleh
then to the annex to support. yea i forgot how much i hate what i used to like lol. first band i saw was sabos. oh my. then my sexy lover jimmy [and strike 4] went on. then i saw part of my other sexy lover tims band [10 cents short or something]. good shit of the night ->saw dan, tommy, vinnie d, edgar, sean, justin, larry, rick and skatepark kid, dan, bob, jason, lydia, alyssa, my sister, sabo, ian, will, and the 2 men i went to see... tim and jimmy <3
amazing highlight... getting up on stage right before tims band went on to give him kisseeeeeeees on the cheek and hugs [in front of everyone] kick ass.
yea then me and ellen were supposed to go to the frat party. no go for whatever reason. so we called all the friends we dont have and just ened up goin to sleep
||[19 Feb 2004|11:34pm]
yo fuck you for ignoring me now
||[18 Feb 2004|10:52pm]
haha bout my previous entry
im going to be a criminology major as soon as i get my criim justice degree and way for me to be thinking like a cj person and not a criminologist. i suck at life... maybe i was meant to work in criminal justice
but that would suck
im reading too much into a simple thought
but im really not
||[18 Feb 2004|10:40pm]
i miss last year
||[17 Feb 2004|09:33pm]
tommy gave me a fat lip :(
||[17 Feb 2004|12:00pm]
*throws chair out window*
that felt good
||[14 Feb 2004|11:48am]
so... valentines day used to be my favorite holiday. i'm so corny i'm always all about the cutesy love songs and movies. but as of last year i gave up on it. valentines day is seriously the stupidest "holiday" ever. it makes people who don't have someone feel like shit, and whatever...
ok enough of that.
last night was CRAZY but alot of fun...heres the run down
-> ellen picked me up, went to eb mall to get my paycheck. MY SEXY MOHAWK GUY IS GONE :( now who am i gonna stare at at work :( psh
->went to our bank to get some dinero
->woodbridge mall to get me sneakers [yay i support jay z lol]
->went to target; talked to glenn [got invited to his frats party at rutgers], got the chingy cd [yaaaaaa jackpot]
->went out to dinner @ sayreville bar with ellens mamadukes and saw my aunt, uncle, and cousin there...insane
->went to my house to get my car and i drove up to lincroft to joe p's house.
->played pool with joe b, joe p, and his g/f lauren. ellen chose not to play
->left for the frat party at like 10:30ish. got maaaaaaad lost in new brunswick but we found it cause we rock shit like that.
->were not allowed into the party cause we brought boys...o well
->went to prime time where we saw who else but my favorite ciak and mike haha.
->stayed there till closing [2am]
->hit up the pank
||[12 Feb 2004|10:26pm]
||[11 Feb 2004|10:01pm]
louis works at the bp by my house
||[09 Feb 2004|02:25pm]
i had such a good weekend... :)
||[06 Feb 2004|12:06am]
1. By what name do you know me?
2. For how long have we been friends?
3. What song reminds you of me?
4. What thought/ inside joke belongs to us?
5. What makes me unlike anyone you know?
6. What is my best quality?
7. What part of you do I bring out?
8. Where do you see me in ten years?
9. What's one thing about me you don't understand, and wish you did?
10. How do you think I'm going to die?
11. What colors/scents/pictures/sounds remind you of me?
12. What's your favorite memory of a time we shared?
13. Tell me, am I a good friend?
14. Do you find me attractive?
15. Would you date me?
16. Would you kiss me?
17. What's one thing you don't like about me?
18. Can you see us as friends twenty years from now?
19. What's my favorite band?
20. Who's my favorite singer?
21. What would we do with a car full of gas and an entire day to ourselves?
22. What are my ambitions?
23. What do I want to be when I grow up?
24. Is there anything I can do for you?
||[05 Feb 2004|11:48pm]
i'm in a good mood tonight
||[05 Feb 2004|01:08pm]
i'm going to the doctor in like an hour so that means i should be in the shower right now. haha i <3 you lj.
my criminology/sociology professor needs to run for president.